This is to my conservative Christian brothers and sisters; please stop!
There was a time in my life when I was so sure of my faith that I had to, simply had to tell everyone about it. In the same way that someone who is newly in love is only able to talk about the beloved (have I shown you the photos of my grand children?), Some believers feel compelled to tell others- at great length, in boring cliched sentences- about this incredible God they have found.
The amazing experience of a close relationship with the Ground of all being can be quite heady. And because some in that community have chosen to ally themselves, for reasons I can only guess at, with a particular political stance which, ironically, is quite antithetical to faith in general and Christianity in particular. (Are you listening, Ayn Rand?)
But the issue here is that the way our brothers and sisters are acting is driving people away from the community of faith. It is no coincidence that atheism as a mainstream phenomenon has been growing as conservative Christians have been more visible. If one's first exposure to any kind of Christianity is the toxic forms most people see today, it is understandable that one might recoil from it.
Please understand: if someone chooses to show their faith in a particular way, so be it! I was there at one time, as I said. But, in some parts of the world, missionaries are forbidden to talk about their faith unsolicited. Only their actions may speak. So, my conservative brethren, let your good acts speak of what you believe. Spare me from the Bible tracts and the televangelists and the demonstrations. As I said: just stop!
Show me this God of love you say you are following.
Friday, March 13, 2015
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
One Day at a Time
Today is all we've got. Yesterday is gone, and no matter how hard we try, we can't go back and change what happened. Tomorrow isn't here yet, and all our worrying and frantic preparations don't guarantee anything.
So live for right here and right now. Yes, we need is to be aware of where we have been. Of course, we should think ahead to where we hope to be. Those things may orient us, but they should not define us.
The problem lies in the way we live today. So many live lives that are dull, shallow, uneventful. The present for such holds nothing, so constant review and attempted revision of the past, or persistently seeking some presaging of what is to come, becomes more interesting than the humdrum of our daily routine.
There is a danger here, of course. Living in the now can become a way of avoiding responsibility for our lives, rather than taking the reins of life in our own hands. We must tackle all the things each day may hold, no more and no less. "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." (Matthew 6:34)
And once you choose to live in the now, seek to live your life to the full. Remember, that's the only one you get, so live it to the full!
So live for right here and right now. Yes, we need is to be aware of where we have been. Of course, we should think ahead to where we hope to be. Those things may orient us, but they should not define us.
The problem lies in the way we live today. So many live lives that are dull, shallow, uneventful. The present for such holds nothing, so constant review and attempted revision of the past, or persistently seeking some presaging of what is to come, becomes more interesting than the humdrum of our daily routine.
There is a danger here, of course. Living in the now can become a way of avoiding responsibility for our lives, rather than taking the reins of life in our own hands. We must tackle all the things each day may hold, no more and no less. "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." (Matthew 6:34)
And once you choose to live in the now, seek to live your life to the full. Remember, that's the only one you get, so live it to the full!
Thursday, March 5, 2015
So sorry
Everyone has things they regret. (Well, maybe not everyone, but you know what I mean.) The words that shouldna been said. Things should/shouldna been done. From when we were all very young, and didn't know any better, but that didn't matter. (Tell you sometime about a very young me and my Aunt Claire.) So one of the first things we learn is saying we're sorry. Even forgiveness is given but not believed or forgiveness is not given or given conditionally, or... You know the story, don't you?
But lately, apologies and forgiveness have taken a new sphere. We have assumed a global form of cynicism. We hold all apologies as suspect automatically, and forgiveness is given too easily or not at all/
Now, granted, with many in the public/political arena, the practice is to speak/act first, apologize after. It is akin to the courtroom practice of asking the witness a question that will be objected to, but the very act of asking it will hopefully bring up a forbidden subject. The idea is: I will say this or that, and the audience I am aiming at will hear only that and pay no attention to the apology.
This has contaminated the very concept of sincere repentance, much less forgiveness. Even though we Christians are supposed to pray regularly that we forgive and are forgiven, we seem to have difficulty receiving, much less giving. And the category of the unforgivable has become broader and broader.
The deeper problem is that we are unwilling to accept others. We cannot forgive because we do not want to open ourselves to others. Or we may be overly aware of our own flaws and failures so that we expect them in others/fear others will know them in us.
It is sad but true that we do not trust others now. There are people who can be bad, but we tend to go beyond that to include people we disagree with politically, spiritually, geographically, even what baseball team you root for. (Uh, go Red Sox?) Yet there are people I love that I disagree with about some or all of the above.
There was a time in my life when I hurt some of the people I love. (Story for 'nother time.) And I apologized. Boy, did I apologize. Over and over. Finally, a person I loved and had hurt told me: stop. The very act of repetitive contrition was having the opposite effect from what I intended. The point is we need forgiveness but we also should forgive ourselves. And we should forgive others, not worrying if they accept our forgiveness. (Or even feel they need it.) The whole point is letting go.
But lately, apologies and forgiveness have taken a new sphere. We have assumed a global form of cynicism. We hold all apologies as suspect automatically, and forgiveness is given too easily or not at all/
Now, granted, with many in the public/political arena, the practice is to speak/act first, apologize after. It is akin to the courtroom practice of asking the witness a question that will be objected to, but the very act of asking it will hopefully bring up a forbidden subject. The idea is: I will say this or that, and the audience I am aiming at will hear only that and pay no attention to the apology.
This has contaminated the very concept of sincere repentance, much less forgiveness. Even though we Christians are supposed to pray regularly that we forgive and are forgiven, we seem to have difficulty receiving, much less giving. And the category of the unforgivable has become broader and broader.
The deeper problem is that we are unwilling to accept others. We cannot forgive because we do not want to open ourselves to others. Or we may be overly aware of our own flaws and failures so that we expect them in others/fear others will know them in us.
It is sad but true that we do not trust others now. There are people who can be bad, but we tend to go beyond that to include people we disagree with politically, spiritually, geographically, even what baseball team you root for. (Uh, go Red Sox?) Yet there are people I love that I disagree with about some or all of the above.
There was a time in my life when I hurt some of the people I love. (Story for 'nother time.) And I apologized. Boy, did I apologize. Over and over. Finally, a person I loved and had hurt told me: stop. The very act of repetitive contrition was having the opposite effect from what I intended. The point is we need forgiveness but we also should forgive ourselves. And we should forgive others, not worrying if they accept our forgiveness. (Or even feel they need it.) The whole point is letting go.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Tell Me About the God You Don't Believe in...
Yeah, I know, I said I would stop, but someone pushed one of my hot buttons, so what the hell?
It has become "in", of late, to claim to be atheist. Understand, I am not talking about the increasing number of unchurched, "spiritual" people who repeat endlessly, "Yeah, I believe, but I don't to go to church or anything like that; I'm spiritual but not religious."
No, I'm talking about the can't-tell-the-difference-between-atheist-and-agnostic person who was turned off by some of the horrors of the Church, whether fundamentalist, Roman Catholic, charismatic or other variety of authoritarian, closed-minded Christianity. (Why just Christianity? Surely there are some born-again atheists from Jewish or Buddhist or Hindu backgrounds. Come to think of it, I know one!)
The trouble here is that such are not really atheists per se. Their vehement and evangelistic style for promoting their non-belief (pause here for necessary reflection on irony involved) seems to consist more of anti-theism. They are so focused on what they are rejecting that they become rather unclear as to what they do, in fact, believe.
No one can go through life without a place to stand, a set of values, some understanding of right and wrong. Well, ya could, but you'd end up in jail or dead or in a mental hospital. A sense of right and wrong can't grow just from human logic or common sense, any more than an infant can become a complete human being without guidance and learning.
A person without any recognition of Something Greater, whether we call that God or a Higher Power or some dream to follow, is a very sad person indeed. As the old Zen saying goes, if you don't know where you're going, you'll end up someplace else. That doesn't mean being rigid about life, or insisting that everyone else do what you're doing. It means knowing what is important to you, and following that.
When I was in college, my closest friend was an avowed atheist (even though I was even then preparing to go to theological school.) But our endless debates would end in stalemate when I asked him, "Tell me about this God you don't believe in." Not the God that others taught, but what exactly was he rejecting? Too often he would bog down when he would repeat some conservative doctrine that I didn't believe in either. Even today, he can't really answer that question because he is so fixed on what he doesn't believe that he has no notion of what he does.
Yes, it is easy to attack the straw man of certain forms of established religion, to lift up the flaws and atrocities done in the name of a given faith. But can this group proclaim something that they believe that separates them from most believers? Science? Logic? Who do you think kept them alive during the centuries? Recognizing the value of people? Hello, this is a faith teaching unconditional love. The arts? Medicine? Religion.
So tell me, my atheist friend, tell me about this God you don't believe in.
This is for Jon.
It has become "in", of late, to claim to be atheist. Understand, I am not talking about the increasing number of unchurched, "spiritual" people who repeat endlessly, "Yeah, I believe, but I don't to go to church or anything like that; I'm spiritual but not religious."
No, I'm talking about the can't-tell-the-difference-between-atheist-and-agnostic person who was turned off by some of the horrors of the Church, whether fundamentalist, Roman Catholic, charismatic or other variety of authoritarian, closed-minded Christianity. (Why just Christianity? Surely there are some born-again atheists from Jewish or Buddhist or Hindu backgrounds. Come to think of it, I know one!)
The trouble here is that such are not really atheists per se. Their vehement and evangelistic style for promoting their non-belief (pause here for necessary reflection on irony involved) seems to consist more of anti-theism. They are so focused on what they are rejecting that they become rather unclear as to what they do, in fact, believe.
No one can go through life without a place to stand, a set of values, some understanding of right and wrong. Well, ya could, but you'd end up in jail or dead or in a mental hospital. A sense of right and wrong can't grow just from human logic or common sense, any more than an infant can become a complete human being without guidance and learning.
A person without any recognition of Something Greater, whether we call that God or a Higher Power or some dream to follow, is a very sad person indeed. As the old Zen saying goes, if you don't know where you're going, you'll end up someplace else. That doesn't mean being rigid about life, or insisting that everyone else do what you're doing. It means knowing what is important to you, and following that.
When I was in college, my closest friend was an avowed atheist (even though I was even then preparing to go to theological school.) But our endless debates would end in stalemate when I asked him, "Tell me about this God you don't believe in." Not the God that others taught, but what exactly was he rejecting? Too often he would bog down when he would repeat some conservative doctrine that I didn't believe in either. Even today, he can't really answer that question because he is so fixed on what he doesn't believe that he has no notion of what he does.
Yes, it is easy to attack the straw man of certain forms of established religion, to lift up the flaws and atrocities done in the name of a given faith. But can this group proclaim something that they believe that separates them from most believers? Science? Logic? Who do you think kept them alive during the centuries? Recognizing the value of people? Hello, this is a faith teaching unconditional love. The arts? Medicine? Religion.
So tell me, my atheist friend, tell me about this God you don't believe in.
This is for Jon.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Adieu and Farewell
Two old Yankees are sitting in the back of a political rally. This was the days before PA systems, and the speaker has a low voice. Finally, one of the old-timers turned to the other in frustration. "Whut's he sayin?" he asked. His compa triot leaned forward, straining to hear. Then he leaned back and turned. "He don't say!"
Many people with nothing to say still find much to talk about. That has been the biggest obstacle to writing this blog in an on-going way At first, it was a marvelous format for venting that had been lost when weekly sermons were no longer available. And it appealed to that inner child who enjoyed the attention, the showing off before others. But then I began to run into my own limits. Writing even a short blog takes time. I was constantly reminded how little I knew about so much. And I had little feedback, so the necessity of an audience became more and more obvious.
There is much recognition today of the importance of silence. People spend much time sitting in silence, go on silent retreats, encourage silence as the unanswerable argument. As I was told back in Vermont, it's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
I have never been good at silence. Maybe it is time I found the wisdom of that Still, Small Voice. So this blog is going on hiatus. I appreciate those of you who read it (both of you) and wish you well. I reserve the right to speak up if there is some issue that demands a comment.
In the meantime, I will seek other ways to express myself.
Many people with nothing to say still find much to talk about. That has been the biggest obstacle to writing this blog in an on-going way At first, it was a marvelous format for venting that had been lost when weekly sermons were no longer available. And it appealed to that inner child who enjoyed the attention, the showing off before others. But then I began to run into my own limits. Writing even a short blog takes time. I was constantly reminded how little I knew about so much. And I had little feedback, so the necessity of an audience became more and more obvious.
There is much recognition today of the importance of silence. People spend much time sitting in silence, go on silent retreats, encourage silence as the unanswerable argument. As I was told back in Vermont, it's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
I have never been good at silence. Maybe it is time I found the wisdom of that Still, Small Voice. So this blog is going on hiatus. I appreciate those of you who read it (both of you) and wish you well. I reserve the right to speak up if there is some issue that demands a comment.
In the meantime, I will seek other ways to express myself.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Sticks and Stones
It seems that more and more people are coming forward with stories about being bullied in school, even the bullies themselves! Hesitating to participate in a mass movement that, lemming-like, doesn't accomplish much more than a communal purging, I nevertheless would tell my story of abuse.
My father was an ambitious man, and he was promoted over and over during his career. This resulted in my family moving many times in my childhood, sometimes staying in any one place only for a matter of months. We moved up and down the East Coast, and even overseas.
I was a quiet and bookish child, believe it or not, and made friends slowly and seldom simply because I never knew when we might move again. My classmates in the various schools I attended treated me as the outsider I was. My rapidly deteriorating eyesight made things worse, as I couldn't make up for my lack of social experience by any athletic skills.
Teachers in those days didn't know how to bring newcomers into the closed world of an elementary school. I can remember vividly one time when the class was to copy a picture from one of our classbooks. The teacher gathered these drawings and put them up for all the class to critique (presumably some sort of art lesson.) I am no artist, to be sure, but it quickly became obvious who was the class goat. As the teacher stood by, student after student picked out my picture- and mine alone!- to point out flaws.
Not until high school did I begin to fight back, futilely and franticly. Of course, I was disciplined when I reacted to the whispered teasing from the kid behind me in class by overturning his desk. Of course, I showed up at parties I thought I had been invited to only to find no party there. And we will not be distracted by talking about the young women who ignored me, denied any offer of a date, even plotted with my classmates to make me look ridiculous in public.
Two things saved me, and they are strangely linked: my faith and my acting. In my home church I found the acceptance I found nowhere else. And it was also there that I discovered an ability to act on stage, to transform into someone else.
That does not means the teasing, the nasty words, the rejection stopped. It took years before I came to terms with who I am, regardless of what others thought or said.
But it did leave me with this: because of all the hurts I have suffered, I can recognize and empathize with the hurts of others. Not that I would recommend that path to such a goal; As Mark Twain reported when he interviewed a man who had been tarred and feathered and ridden out of town on a rail: "If it weren't for the honor, I'd just as soon have walked."
My father was an ambitious man, and he was promoted over and over during his career. This resulted in my family moving many times in my childhood, sometimes staying in any one place only for a matter of months. We moved up and down the East Coast, and even overseas.
I was a quiet and bookish child, believe it or not, and made friends slowly and seldom simply because I never knew when we might move again. My classmates in the various schools I attended treated me as the outsider I was. My rapidly deteriorating eyesight made things worse, as I couldn't make up for my lack of social experience by any athletic skills.
Teachers in those days didn't know how to bring newcomers into the closed world of an elementary school. I can remember vividly one time when the class was to copy a picture from one of our classbooks. The teacher gathered these drawings and put them up for all the class to critique (presumably some sort of art lesson.) I am no artist, to be sure, but it quickly became obvious who was the class goat. As the teacher stood by, student after student picked out my picture- and mine alone!- to point out flaws.
Not until high school did I begin to fight back, futilely and franticly. Of course, I was disciplined when I reacted to the whispered teasing from the kid behind me in class by overturning his desk. Of course, I showed up at parties I thought I had been invited to only to find no party there. And we will not be distracted by talking about the young women who ignored me, denied any offer of a date, even plotted with my classmates to make me look ridiculous in public.
Two things saved me, and they are strangely linked: my faith and my acting. In my home church I found the acceptance I found nowhere else. And it was also there that I discovered an ability to act on stage, to transform into someone else.
That does not means the teasing, the nasty words, the rejection stopped. It took years before I came to terms with who I am, regardless of what others thought or said.
But it did leave me with this: because of all the hurts I have suffered, I can recognize and empathize with the hurts of others. Not that I would recommend that path to such a goal; As Mark Twain reported when he interviewed a man who had been tarred and feathered and ridden out of town on a rail: "If it weren't for the honor, I'd just as soon have walked."
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Consensus Yes?
My friends in the Society of Friends (that's Quakers to you) have a way of deciding things called consensus. When one of their committees or boards seek a resolution to whatever, everyone there must agree with the decision. That means when even one person objects, won't go along, finds just one detail unacceptable, the group must keep seeking some common ground. No voting, no majority rule, no compromise that pleases no one.
Even amongst some coummunity action groups that do not follow this practice, there is a tendency toward consensus. I have been in such meetings where someone who is otherwise sympathetic and cooperative, becomes an obstacle to getting something done. They may be highly idealistic, impatient with the dirty details sometimes necessary, or just having a bad day personally. The resulting group dynamic is the same, with people trying to placate, manipulate, or sometimes abdicate, just refusing to play any more
This might give some insight to those amongst you who cannot understand the (ir)rationale behind what is happening, uh, not happening in Washington these days. We have a president who still draws on his time as a community organizer (and please spare me from right-wing screeds about ACORN or its ilk). He does at times fall into the role of assertive manager and head of the whole shebang, but most of the time he seems to expecting that Congress will show the sort of openness and tolerance associated with reaching consensus. He honestly thinks the best of people!
So he offers various suggestions, not realizing that the people he is dealing with interpret such as a concession, not a move toward consensus. Open-mindedness is seen as empty-headedness
But there are politicians today who will not (can not?) seek a common ground. Such might be seen as (gasp!)weakness. In our winner-take-all society, the very word bi-partisan has become a meaningless noise. So when someone takes a stand, there is no possibility of convincing that person to move from that place.
Granted, we are all separate and unique individuals. But when we insist on everyone doing things our way, there are some who will reject anything we suggest, no matter how valid (or crazy.)
We share more than we differ. Isn't time to consider consensus?
Even amongst some coummunity action groups that do not follow this practice, there is a tendency toward consensus. I have been in such meetings where someone who is otherwise sympathetic and cooperative, becomes an obstacle to getting something done. They may be highly idealistic, impatient with the dirty details sometimes necessary, or just having a bad day personally. The resulting group dynamic is the same, with people trying to placate, manipulate, or sometimes abdicate, just refusing to play any more
This might give some insight to those amongst you who cannot understand the (ir)rationale behind what is happening, uh, not happening in Washington these days. We have a president who still draws on his time as a community organizer (and please spare me from right-wing screeds about ACORN or its ilk). He does at times fall into the role of assertive manager and head of the whole shebang, but most of the time he seems to expecting that Congress will show the sort of openness and tolerance associated with reaching consensus. He honestly thinks the best of people!
So he offers various suggestions, not realizing that the people he is dealing with interpret such as a concession, not a move toward consensus. Open-mindedness is seen as empty-headedness
But there are politicians today who will not (can not?) seek a common ground. Such might be seen as (gasp!)weakness. In our winner-take-all society, the very word bi-partisan has become a meaningless noise. So when someone takes a stand, there is no possibility of convincing that person to move from that place.
Granted, we are all separate and unique individuals. But when we insist on everyone doing things our way, there are some who will reject anything we suggest, no matter how valid (or crazy.)
We share more than we differ. Isn't time to consider consensus?
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