Love and death

Would you die for someone you love?
Yes of course, that is the whole point of Jesus' death on the Cross, to show how much God loves us. And I would hope that most parents would make such a sacrifice to rescue their child. But on a more general scale, how many of us would do something that radical for the sake of love? Would you, or you, or even, yes, you, die just a little for another?
We seem to have fewer hesitations when it comes to violent reprisal upon someone who hurts the ones we love. When those gentlemen (ahem) broke in and slaughtered the Pettit family, the general consensus, lead by the good Doctor Pettit , was: string 'em up! I will not get distracted by the whole  debate over capital punishment(although here's a hint: I'm agin it), but stay on message. Are we willing to love anyone so much that we are willing even to go the last step for them?
It might seem, on first blush, as though love and death would be polar opposites. Again, scripture tells us that love conquers death. But too often we get them enmeshed. So many fear love because they fear the potential of loss, of giving up some part of ourselves however large or small, important or unimportant,that will have to be let go.
Wait, that last part seems backward: are those who fear love because they fear loss really afraid of losing the one they love- or losing something of themselves? Do they resist conceding any part of themselves even in the face of gaining something that might make them more complete than before?
There are many ways that we can let go for the sake of another. It could be something as minor as what movie you both go to, or what to have for dinner. Or it could be something like where you will live, or where you will work, or how many children you have (if any).
For some, giving in on even small things is dying a little. For some, he (usually he) will continue to live the same way regardless of another person's  needs and preferences. Maybe these people's self-esteem is so fragile that even a small shift seems life-threatening.
Of course, there are those at the other end of the spectrum. For her (usually her), any sort of personal need is readily discarded in a (vain) attempt to keep the other happy. And it is catastrophic when it turns out that Humpty-Dumpty cannot be put together again for the hundredth time, no matter what concessions are made.
The alternative is to stop trying to die for love. When we are able to realize that such measures aren't necessary for others to know our love, and for them to love us, then we can go on from there. We can live for love.