Forget It

More and more doctors have begun a reminder practice. Assuming that clients need that little nudge (which is too often necessary), they have a policy of calling the day before an appointment to remind someone of the appointment time the next day. Yes, some of us never did have the memory retention necessary, so that call may be a sudden jolt, but still helpful.
Despite the implication that most, if not all, lack the responsibility to keep track of obligations, the reality is that the most common excuse given for not showing up is "I forgot." Of course, this can mean many different things  depending on the context.
(1) I forgot because I made this appointment in a moment of crisis, but now the crisis is past. So I really don't want to deal with the stuff that caused the crisis, until the next time.
(2)I forgot because I realized it would cost something (the co-pay at least) and I don't have enough. Which is part of my problem to begin with.
(3) I forgot because I didn't want to make an  appointment to begin with. But my mother/spouse/friend pressured me so I made the appointment just to shut 'em up.
(4) I forgot because it means I have to face my problems, and when I get this anxious and depressed I just ignore everything and expect it to go away. (Sort of a problem preventing its own solution.)
(5) I forgot because I tend to put everyone and everything else before myself. So not only does this mean I have to focus on me, it means I have to let all the other demands aside. And there is always another's need, another's problem that comes first.
(6) I forgot because I don't remember making the appointment to begin with. I called when I was high or drunk or just traumatized by the awful things that have happened.
There are other reasons/excuses, and each are quite serious and sincere. The spouse who makes the appointment for marital counseling but subsequently finds that it is futile to try to put Humpty-Dumpty together again. The client who is looking for a particular sort of therapist who can solve all problems quickly and easily. The one who waits until the marriage is almost burned down  before agreeing that some improvements would be good.
Hence the reminders. My attitude is that the people who call are adults, responsible adults, and  I will not infantilize  them  by chasing after them to make sure they show up for their appointments. Yes, it might mean some clients never do show, but I would rather that than having to pursue clients who make appointment after appointment, only to blow each of them off.
Still, it would be nice if people had better memories...