Say What You Mean

Recently I stumbled into another hornet's nest. Someone had posted a supposedly cute post on Facebook. "I'm a people pleaser, just not a stupid people pleaser." I made what I thought an innocuous comment, something to the effect that "stupid" is a relative term, as some people who are unfamiliar in one thing might be quite knowledgeable in another.
Sorry, didn't know I had opened that can of worms!
Someone posted a comment to  my comment, using the term "common sense," and saying such things should be "obvious."
Yes, I know, shoulda just let it go. But I am forever trying to clarify things, so I responded by pointing out that what is "obvious" in one time and place would not be so in another. It used to be "obvious" that the earth was flat, and the sun went around the earth. That human flight was an impossibility. I even mentioned that people used to regard tomatoes as poisonous (which gives you an idea how frantic I had become.)
My correspondent took my well-considered words and responded by getting nasty. The obvious was what was right in front of my face, and I was unable to see that! When I tried to seek a more reasoned and civil tone, he made a perfunctory apology but then became just as nasty all over again.
Fortunately, the person who had unintentionally begun this pissing match stepped in and tried to calm the troubled waters. I felt sorry for him; my adversary was a former employer, and I used to be this guy's pastor! But he brought in the voice of reason necessary, and I regained some perspective.
We had been dealing with issues that had not been named, expressed in code words. Rather than talking about human needs and ways of dealing with them, we quibbled about the meanings of "obvious" and "common sense." He didn't want to deal with the more complicated problems of life, but just to go for the most direct and uncomplicated solutions at hand. As they say, when your tool of preference is a hammer, every problem is just a nail. And I got pulled into it.
I can remember once getting into a theological debate with a person from a particularly rigid faith group (okay, it was Jehovah's Witnesses!) Most frustrating and useless fifteen minutes of my life!But I suspect it is human nature to try to rescue people from their own folly.
Of course, these others may not see it as folly. And too often people don't come right out and say what they mean, anyway. Rather than  talking about economic inequity and prejudice, some people talk about personal responsibility and equal opportunity. Rather than acknowledging our modern class structure, some talk about difficulty dealing with certain groups of people.
So we can decide to let those we disagree with alone. As I have said before, don't bother trying to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig. But maybe there is something to be said for showing people how lost they are.
But first we have to be certain what we are talking about.