Multiple Choice

Even before I met with the search committee, one of the members warned me, "He only wants yes or no answers." They had met with another candidate who kept qualifying or explaining, and that was not acceptable to this one committee member. Sure enough, very early on in the interview, he faced me with questions that he obviously saw as yes-or-no questions.
"Do you believe in God?"
"Do you believe in Jesus Christ?"
"Do you believe in the Holy Spirit?"
Looking back now, I can understand his stance; he had neither the sophistication nor the expertise to enter into some kind of theological debate parsing the finer points of theosophy. Explaining would not clarify; it would confuse. I said yes to each question, then added to the other committee members, "I could explain what I mean by each of these if you want."
It was many years ago that happened (and yes, they did call me as pastor.) Since then, I have dealt with others who sought such yes-or-no answers, who approached life at the most basic levels and rejected any attempt to suggest that there might be more than that. As a therapist, I meet people who come with issues that, however complex, they expect solutions right away, solutions which require little effort and less thought.
The difficulty is, of course, that many questions have more than one answer (if they have an answer at all.) Human beings are wonderfully complex, and we seek to fit others into our procrustean bed at our peril. There have been many instances when the choices of boxes to be checked didn't match with the reality of a particular person. The most vivid example, of course, was apartheid, where even a drop of blood from an African background meant consignment to abasement. And we Americans struggle with the heritage of a president that doesn't fit into our limited options.
But there are less obvious instances: sexual orientation, spiritual commitment, ethnic heritage. Despite our attempts to cling to stereotypes, many people from such groups just will not fit into our expectations. (What does an Arab look like? A homosexual? A person from this or that religious group?) And in a world that is constantly in motion, it is doubtful that things will become fixed any time soon.
This does not mean that nothing can be sure in our world Each of us can know and celebrate who we are. But we must hold back from pigeon-holing others based on our own need to know.