Say What?

At my favorite coffee shop (which will go unnamed because they ain't paid for the ad but it rhymes with charbucks) there is this BIG poster for one of the things they offer: "STUFFED PRETZEL WITH SODA." And I have asked the obvious: however did they get the soda in there? My suggestions were not appreciated for some reason; but after all, don;t they want to communicate?
In a time which takes great pride in the various forms of communication (telephone, television, texting, podcasting and, yes, internet to name a few) why have we become so sloppy at basic communication skills? Often when couples come to me for help, one of the central issues is communication; they cannot talk to one another without a shouting match if not long periods of silence. And this type of noncommunication does not take into consideration the non-verbal forms of connecting with one another (fill in your own ideas here.)
Granted, verbal communication is over-rated. As that Hollywood producer Sam Goldwyn once said, "A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's printed on." Many people think that if they simply say something, promise anything, that will solve everything. True, nothing will actually change, but, gee, didn't they say they would get around to doing something? But the non-verbal may be no better. Many couples become sexually intimate before they really know each other.  And, despite what movies seem to imply, relationships are not cured of all problems by a passionate kiss. Too often I have seen couples where the sex has become blase, and they look beyond that and realize that, out of bed, they don't really like each other.
Communication is a multi-step process that begins with learning to listen and continues on to making sure the other has heard what was, in fact, said. It involves accepting the other person even when the two of you disagree. It means that talking louder will not guarantee that what you are saying will be heard (Exhibit A: "I've told you kids a million times..." at the top of your voice.) It means setting aside a time and place where you are not likely to be interrupted or distracted and talking with one another on the issue at hand (and only that issue!) until some sort of resolution has been reached (even if it is little more than the choice not to try to change each other any more in this area.)
Communication can take many forms. And there are just as many signals that communication is not happening. Lack of coherent response. Over-reaction. Sudden change of subject. Garbage-dumping (which consists of sudden venting of all the things that annoyed, disturbed or confused back thru the eons of time.) No response at all. And it can be tricky to identify that breakdown in dialog.
This does not mean total surrender on communication, nor taking pride when a relationship persists in spite of this major lacunae. People need to keep trying. One of the major accomplishments in life is knowing that others hear what you are saying, and respond.