Nobody Knows The Trouble I Seen

Sometimes when difficulty hits, we just can't seem to stop going over and over and over it no matter how painful it might be to review it one more time and how annoying it might be to our nearest and dearest to hear the same old thing. Sometimes we keep it to ourselves in a misguided attempt to prove our fortitude and an equally mistaken belief that no one would care anyway.  Sometimes we get stuck in that painful place and sometimes we try to run away from it.
One of the differences between men and women (flagrant generalization ahead!) is the way we share our problems and what we expect in return. Men (ahem! cough!) tend not to share their problems in what I call the John Wayne Syndrome ("Men don't cry, pilgrim! They bleed!") Or if there is any sharing, the expectation is that it will be a problem-solving session. The focus then, see, is not on the person in pain, but in the source of the pain, and what should be done about it. And make that solution as quick and concrete as possible, thank you very much. So it becomes external in nature, with little consideration of how this guy may have played a part in what happened.
Women, on the other hand, can be quite open about their pain, given the right confidante and the right opportunity. But they have a different expectation; they want someone to listen, to validate their feelings. They do not want someone to suggest what should be done about the problem, as that seems like rejection and dismissal of what they are going through. Guys, when your lady begins to tell you what hurts her, your best move is to shut up and let her tell you all about it. Don't try to solve the problem, unless she specifically asks you.
There can be a time for mutual problem-solving, but first there has to be the mutual openness and trust of sharing deeply. If a guy cam start at that level, it may be confusing, but it should be welcome.